Monday, December 5, 2011

Geoffrey's Biblical Comedary for December

Geoffrey's Biblical Comedary
Bad Exegesis Lesson One: The Case for Indefinite Slacking

Brothers and sisters in Christ, in addressing observance of Jewish festivals, St. Paul writes, "One man esteems one day as better than another, while another man esteems all days alike. Let every one be fully convinced in his own mind" (Romans 14:5). From the context, the holy Apostle is encouraging legitimate diversity of practice within the Church. And I am writing to suggest one particularly legitimately diverse practice. No one disagrees that there is nothing wrong with observing Saturday as a sabbath in addition to the Lord's Day. And by corollary, any other day may be observed as a sabbath as well. Therefore, why not observe all days as sabbaths?

I am fully convinced in my own mind that God is calling me, personally, to never work again. "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Why am I so certain? Because God loves me, and the Lord says, "It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep" (Psalm 127:2). Obviously, if any man wakes up to commute to a job in the morning instead of sleeping in, he has fallen out of God's favor. As it is written, "Blessed are the unemployed, for they shall inherit Wall Street."

Therefore, I invite you to join me in proclaiming the Gospel of Rest amid a Culture of Work. Do not be afraid to step up and assert your divine right. We are people of God's promise, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest" (Exodus 33:14).

(All Scripture is taken from the RSV, but if a copyright agent is reading this, my quotations are original translations of the Greek)


rolf said...

Hallelujah!!! I am going to tell my boss tomorrow that God wants me to quit, and if he has a problem with that, he can take it up with God!

Theophrastus said...

my quotations are original translations of the Greek

Three of your four Biblical quotes were from the Hebrew Bible (two from Psalms, one from Exodus.)

Theophrastus said...

Also, I wonder how Exodus 20:9 fits.

Inigo Montoya said...


I rather enjoyed this! Thanks for submitting it to Tim (and thanks, Tim, for posting it).

(Psalm 127:2 > Exodus 20:9 because the Psalm came later...)


Pomeranian Catholic said...

@Theophrastus: It's a joke.

Anonymous said...


Besides, I am sure that a good Catholic such as yourself would quote from the ancient Greek LXX and not the Medieval Hebrew OT.